Blackbeard’s Bean

The Black Bean Burrito is an intimidating menu item...if you believe in ghosts.

To most people, it’s just a delicious burrito full of premium Latin rice, three-cheese blend, red sauce, and black beans; the classic fixings of a fantastic vegetarian dish. It’s great, as long as Blackbeard’s apparition doesn’t pay you an unexpected, mid-meal visit. Yeah, you heard right; for whatever reason, we’ve had reports that a certain folically superior pirate shows up from time to time to haunt people who eat the classic Black Bean Burrito. Why? From what we understand, apparently the dude just loved black beans. It makes a lot of sense when you take the time to think about it. After all, the guy was English, so realistically his beard was probably light orange, not black. However, because he was a pirate, he was probably also a complete mess of a man. We’re speculating here, but we think that he would just go pillaging villages before taking the time to clean up after lunch, earning him the title “Black Bean Beard.” As his stories were passed down over time, people just dropped the “Bean” part and began calling him “Black Beard.” And since he was such a jerk, now he’s resigned to aimlessly roaming the earth, haunting 2015 black bean burrito fans out of sheer boredom. It’s obnoxious, but we will say this: if you honestly think that a crotchety old pirate ghost showing up in your kitchen is too scary to eat the Black Bean Burrito, then you clearly haven’t eaten the Black Bean Burrito. This thing is delicious, and Blackbeard probably wore tights voluntarily; hardly intimidating.