Nacho Strategy: Just Get Two

Listen, you know how this is going to go.

Crispy chips, nacho cheese sauce, refried beans, and red sauce; you know that whomever you’re with is going to want “just one.” You’re going to look like a selfish friend if you say no, so you’re going to just roll your eyes and say “sure.” And, because it’s the well-tested natural order of things, that one chip will be the one chip that you LEAST want to part with. You know, the chip with that perfect proportion of each specific ingredient. Whoever’s nacho fishing probably thinks they’re doing you a solid by grabbing that one, since there’s another chip with way more ingredients on it, but as we all know, it’s all about chip-to-topping ratio; not topping overload. You’ll be totally annoyed and heartbroken until you have a bite of your own and realize that the nachos are too delicious to care about that special chip you didn’t get to enjoy. Of course your friend is going to have “one more.” You’ll be all “Dude!”, which is totally justified, but your friend will probably feel like not taking that ultra-stacked nacho was noble enough to not deserve your petty little angry friend routine. Before you know it, there’s one chip left: the chip at the bottom of the pile, with only a corner covered in cheese and a tiny pinto bean. You pick it up and stick it in your mouth, locked in a vicious staredown with someone who until about four minutes earlier, was a lock for maid of honor at your eventual wedding. The next day you find out that she told all of your darkest secrets to your ex as payback from the day before, and you’re signing up for judo lessons. 

So what we’re saying is, this vicious path of destruction can be avoided if you just buck up and get a second Triple Layer Nachos for your buddy. Sharing may be caring, but buying two is just friendship survivalism.