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Everyone Knows a Good Patty
It's funny how certain names almost always stick up for their stereotypes and the Hash Brown is no different.
For instance, when you meet a “Dwayne,” you immediately know that he probably worked at a record store or used guitar repair shop at some point in his life. If you even mention a band from between 1975 to 1990, you better be ready for a hazy concert anecdote that takes place in a Midwestern parking lot. Or if you meet a “Jon-Luc,” do yourself a favor and ask him where to find a good bakery, because it’s all but certain he knows where to find the freshest baguette in every town. Pro tip- he’s someone you’ll want to have on speed dial to hook you up with the best recommendations. Bet he even knows where to get the best Hash Brown (hint, you’re reading about it right now). Or if you find yourself meeting a “Sam,” he was probably the hot shot ballplayer in high school who played one game but still wears his letterman jacket to every home game…ten years later. Or “Patty,” for instance. Every Patty is a straight shooter with heart like a diamond. If she’s not your favorite coworker, she’s probably your favorite aunt. Not your favorite aunt, then she’s definitely your favorite neighbor, for sure. And like our Hash Brown Patty, she’s also criminally undervalued because of her consistent good vibes. In the same way that there’s a Patty breaking up the awkward silence at every family reunion, there’s a Hash Brown Patty bringing some extra flavor to every good breakfast. The only real difference between ours and every other Patty is that while your Aunt Pat may be sweet, fun, and good-natured, she also knows how to put you in your place. For every Dwayne who thinks that disco sucks, there’s a Patty who will put you in an armbar for one crass comment about her sister.