Everyone Knows a Good Patty

It’s funny how certain names almost always stick up for their stereotypes.

For instance, when you meet a “Dwayne,” you immediately know that he probably worked at a record store or used guitar repair shop at some point in his life. If you even mention a band from between 1975 to 1990, you better be ready for a hazy concert anecdote that takes place in a midwestern parking lot. Or if you meet a “Jon-Luc,” do yourself a favor and ask him where to find a good bakery, because it’s all but certain he knows where to find the freshest baguette in every town. Or “Patty,” for instance. Every Patty is a straight shooter with heart like a diamond. If she’s not your favorite coworker, she’s probably your favorite aunt. And like our Hash Brown Patty, she’s also criminally undervalued because of her consistent good vibes. In the same way that there’s a Patty breaking up the awkward silence at every family reunion, there’s a Hash Brown Patty bringing some extra flavor to every good breakfast. The only real difference between ours and every other Patty is that while your Aunt Pat may be sweet, fun, and good-natured, she also knows how to put you in your place. For every Dwayne who thinks that disco sucks, there’s a Patty who will put you in an armbar for one crass comment about her sister

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